The transportation skill that is used most often is the one
that is taught the least. Here's what I mean. Reconsider the four
main skills that are used on a daily basis: speaking, writing,
reading, and listening. If the total whole of time spent
communicating is 100%, what is your impression of how
much time the median man spends doing each? The acknowledge
may surprise you.
In an median day, an individual communicates straight through
the spoken word 30% of the time, via writing 9% of the time,
reads 16% of the time, but listens an fantastic 45% of the time.
Flashlights
Although we have all had courses in speaking, writing,
and reading, very few population have ever been taught to be an
effective listener. What is it that causes minds to meander and
to not authentically understand what is being said?
Clearly You Must Listen - How to become an Active, complicated Listener
We speak at the rate of 100 to 140 words per minute.
However, we can comprehend 600 to 700 words per minute.
This creates a "Communications Gap." Even those of us who
have every intention of listening to what is being said find
ourselves filling in the gaps. We add our own words to the
dialogue because we are able to listen faster than the other
person can speak.
To come to be a better listener, here is a list of active
listening habits that, when practiced, make the
communications opening interactive. These five habits
have an acronym: Clear. When mastered, they enable an
individual to come to be a "clear" listener, and, therefore, a better
communicator who comprehends the whole message.
1 - Clarify: Ask questions. Often, we hold back
when we don't understand something because we
are involved that whether we will appear to lack
knowledge, or will be impolite to the speaker.
In reality, open-ended questions serve to growth
the effective-ness of the message by filling in the gaps where
misunderstanding could occur.
Questions beginning with the words who, what, when,
where, why and how cannot be answered "yes" or "no" and
will, by their very nature, furnish added information. By
clarifying the message straight through questioning, communications
is facilitated.
2 - Lead: A listener can be a leader. straight through body
language and such remarks as "Go on," or "Tell me
more," a listener can encourage the speaker to say
more. When this occurs, the speaker can elucidate his
or her own message by elaborating on points that
initially may only have been given a cursory overview. An
effective listener must get as much data as possible in
the easiest way.
3 - Encapsulate: At regular intervals, the listener
should ensure insight by repeating back a
shortened version of the message to the speaker in
the speaker's own words. This will verify the listener took
good notes and was hearing the words as spoken.
4 - Affirm: All of us enjoy being told that our
thoughts and ideas are significant. By using words
of affirmation such as "That's good!" or "I authentically
like that," we encourage the speaker to progress on
the idea, enabling more details of the whole message to come
to the forefront. Again, with more facts, we can better
understand the total meaning of what is being said.
5 - Restate: The final habit of an productive listener is
to restate what is being said. This is inescapable from
Habit #3 because, in this case, the listener uses his
or her own words.
The suspect is simple. The same
word can have separate meanings to separate
people. This I can personally attest to because my wife and I
do not speak the same language. You see, my wife is from
England.
Contrary to beloved opinion, we don't use the same words
to convey the same messages. For instance, she does not
vacuum the carpet, she hoovers the carpet. She never uses a
wrench, but, on occasion, may attempt to cope with a spanner.
Flashlights are never used to light up a dark area. However,
she will use a torch. And, if you ask her to look under
the hood of your car, she may give you a strange look because
the hood is what Americans call the top, while the bonnet is
the English equivalent of the hood.
The point is simple. If we do not attach the same
meanings to the same words, the message will be
misunderstood. And, it's coarse for both sides to feel as if
the communications went smoothly when, in reality, their
frames of reference were different. Restatement, along with
clarification, will cause these inconsistencies to drop out,
enhancing the environment in which communications can take
place.
How often have you heard man ask that it be
done Asap? This acronym, of course, stands for As Soon As
Possible, but could also mean A Sale Automatically
Postponed.
To the requester, it may mean "immediately," but to the
other man is could mean "as soon as I can get to it." Yet,
specific dates and times do have the same meaning to
everyone. If something is scheduled for a definite point in
time, it leaves itsybitsy room for misinterpretation.
The listener must take the responsibility to communicate.
If he or she does not, listening becomes a passive activity
when it must be an active skill. With that in mind, the art of note-taking becomes an integral
part of the listening process.
Good notes not only originate a
record, but also enable the listener to make the content of
the message. Speakers will often meander and deliver a
message whether backwards or from the center out. By writing
down key words and phrases, the listener will be able to make
better sense of the details and decipher the whole content.
Finally, it is critical that the listener not be distracted by
the other person's delivery. Sometimes a voice is so unusual
or enticing that concentration is centered on tone, volume, and
pitch rather than on meaning and comprehension. Once again,
good notes will help you circumvent this possible problem.
A way to verify that you are listening for effectiveness is
to pretend that you will be required to prepare a description about
the communications for man else. When you assume a
third party is dependent upon your listening expertise, you will
become better in your listening habits and in your note-taking.
As with any skill, listening must be practiced and honed
to perform you'll find a new dimension to the communications
process which will signal greater success in reaching your
objectives.
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Copyright, 2008 administration Strategies, Inc.
Clearly You Must Listen - How to become an Active, complicated Listener
